The Race to Riches & Fame

How Hustle Culture and Influencer Prophets Turned Ambition into a 24/7 Spectacle of Burnout and Existential Dread

Hustle culture functions as a platform-shaped belief system. Ambition becomes performance, metrics replace judgment and influencer figures sell systems as salvation. Algorithmic feeds intensify comparison, normalize overwork and monetize insecurity.

By Evil, Ph.D. (Chronicler of Hustle Myths | Auditor of Algorithmic Ambition)

May 6, 2025 ~6 minutes stolen from the void

Observe.

A human wakes, blinks twice, opens Instagram and immediately suffers a minor existential crisis.

Another person has launched a startup from their shower.

Someone else is 19 and already a "Forbes Under 20 Million".

A crypto sis named Skylar just posted:

"Retired at 24. Stay humble. #grindset."

Skylar's moonbase empire mocks your mundane existence.

You, on the other hand, are still tangled in your IKEA sofa, doubting that brushing your teeth counts as progress.

Your feed's a neon guillotine, slicing your self-worth daily.

Welcome to the Treadmill of Modern Aspiration™. A global, high-speed chase toward riches, fame and some vague sense of "making it".

Join Now, Regret Later

A stylized illustration of a bearded influencer speaking on stage in front of a large screen reading "Become Someone," while an audience records him with smartphones, symbolizing influencer culture, public self-branding and performative ambition.

Capitalism (Version 2025) has a new product.

You.

You, optimized, monetized, uploaded with ring light and ROI.

Ambition is no longer a noble flame in the soul. It's a TikTok trend with theme music, merch and a three-tier pricing plan.

Want to feel behind in life? Spend 7 minutes on any platform.

Your third cousin is selling AI art NFTs to Qatari royalty. Your coworker is suddenly an online fitness guru with a subscription plan titled "Quads & Capitalism". Your ex's verb-less book tops Amazon, a triumph of nothing.

Enter: the Endless Treadmill of Becoming Someone™, brought to you by algorithmic anxiety and the fear of your own mediocrity.

Meet the Success Merchants

A stylized caricature illustration of four influencer archetypes, including a luxury hustle figure, a tattooed mindfulness enthusiast, a wellness guru and a crypto spiritual leader holding a Bitcoin symbol, representing the blend of hustle culture, wellness branding and financial ideology.

Behind every anxious scroller is a success guru whispering:

"You just need a system."

They arrive in droves, cloaked in the digital robes of Insta Reels and YouTube ads. Each one more enlightened than the last. Each peddling courses costing your rent.

Let's name a few of these prophets and examine their gifts to humanity:

  • Chadwick Everfast, Crypto Visionary: Will help you turn $11 into $11 million by investing in coins named after Egyptian gods and frozen yogurt flavors. For just $299, you too can join his "Inner Circle of Moonlords". The Discord access is a spiritual experience. The rug-pulls? A test of faith.
  • Lunaria Moonbeam, Manifestation Oracle: Promises a yacht and a soulmate if you buy her moon-charged crystals. Her course "Abundance Frequency: Unleash Your Money Vortex" includes three free affirmations and a coupon for your next existential panic. Refunds not available due to mercury retrograde.
  • Coach Maxxx Velocity, Hustle Lord: Author of "Grind Til You Disintegrate". Wakes up at 3:43am to ice-bathe and whisper affirmations into his blender. Believes naps are a socialist conspiracy and encourages his followers to "cancel sleep culture". His blender's affirmations outshine your net worth.

They peddle Hope™, a manipulative auto-generated scam.

Carl's Journey to Nowhere

A stylized illustration of an exhausted man sitting among stacks of books, alarm clocks, productivity notes and online course pages, with a cat beside him, symbolizing burnout, productivity overload and pressure to self-optimize.

Let's take a moment to analyze a subject: Carl. Age 34. Owner of two yoga mats, zero inner peace.

Once, Carl was content. He ate pasta and occasionally blinked. Then he downloaded X.

Carl now experiences 17 mini-crises before breakfast. Everyone seems to be building empires. Carl builds mood boards. He buys a $999 productivity course called "Dominate Your Destiny with Color-Coded Calendars".

He tracks his aura using AI. He starts each day flogging himself with comparison scrolling.

He is exhausted.

Carl joins five Discords, two masterminds and begins journaling in a $45 gratitude planner made of vegan leather and self-hate.

Still, he feels behind.

His cat, meanwhile, is slowly planning its escape...

Seneca Scrolls Through TikTok

A stylized illustration of an ancient bearded philosopher statue holding a smartphone displaying the TikTok app, symbolizing the contrast between classical philosophy and modern attention-driven social media.

Seneca wrote:

"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality"

Seneca never opened LinkedIn.

You suffer because Chad from college "just raised a seed round". You suffer because Alina from yoga "spiritually awakened in suspiciously fabulous Bali". You agonize over not scaling, thriving or bleeding vulnerability for profit.

In reality? Alina has food poisoning. Chad is 92% VC debt in human form. The girl with the gratitude paddleboard? She dropped her phone in the ocean after the post.

Still, your brain insists:

"You're falling behind"

Behind what, exactly? A curated illusion.

The Algo Is Your God Now

A stylized illustration of a glowing, multi-armed digital deity formed from streams of code, towering over a kneeling crowd holding smartphones, symbolizing worship of technology and the modern attention economy.

You no longer scroll. You worship.

You wake and swipe. You sacrifice your time, focus and mental equilibrium. You pray to the gods of engagement.

"Please, Algorithm, bless this post."

Platforms are engineered slot machines, dopamine dispensers with LED halos. TikTok's endless loop churns your despair anew.

The feed is infinite. Your attention span is not.

Each video promises a miracle. Each swipe leads to enlightenment or at least a tip on how to make passive income while sleeping in a cold plunge bath.

You watch millionaires on YouTube explain how to get rich by telling other people how to get rich.

Work Until You Are Dust

A stylized illustration of people exercising on treadmills inside a modern gym under dark storm clouds, with a poster reading "No Sleep. Just Scale." while a man checks his phone mid-workout, symbolizing hustle culture, productivity obsession and burnout.

Rest is now suspicious.

If you rest, someone else is "leveling up." If you nap, someone else is "stacking cash". If you go outside, your hustle score drops.

Introducing:

GrindHub™: A new app that penalizes inactivity.

Users receive alerts like:

  • "You haven't optimized your sleep in 36 hours"
  • "Reminder: Your competitors are doing burpees and coding right now"
  • "You're two missed cold showers away from mediocrity"

Behold: you're a gamified meat battery, drained by GrindHub™.

Crypto Jesus & Other False Prophets

A stylized illustration of a robed, Christ-like figure holding a tablet displaying cryptocurrency data while addressing a crowd holding dollar symbols, with a fluctuating market chart in the background, symbolizing financial worship, crypto evangelism and modern faith in markets.

Crypto had its messiah. Let's call him Blake Bitlord. He promised salvation through coins. His beard glowed with decentralization. He tweeted in tongues.

Thousands followed. Some got rich. Most got wrecked. Moonbase scams crush their dreams.

But Bitlord? He sold a course.

He always sells a course.

They all do.

When you see someone post: "I want to help you succeed", read instead:

"I want you to pay me while I cosplay God".

Philosophers Don't Scale

A monochrome illustration of three older men sitting exhausted on couches in a cluttered room filled with scattered papers, books, devices and smoke rising overhead, evoking intellectual burnout, information overload and mental exhaustion.

Nietzsche wrote about the will to power. Today that translates to "crushing it on LinkedIn".

But Nietzsche also wandered the Alps alone and talked to horses.

Epicurus ate bread and cheese and considered that abundance. Today he'd be canceled for not having a six-figure skincare routine.

Camus said:

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."

So try this: Don't scale. Don't grind. Don't grow.

Sit. Stare. Sigh. Be. Rebel with stillness.

And yet again I introduce:

The Dr. Evil Detachment Toolkit™

A studio photograph of four white supplement bottles labeled with satirical anti-hustle names, including Ambivoil, ScrollAway Pro, CourseBuster and Zenitol, arranged on a soft white surface with scattered pills.
  • Ambiviol™ : Helps you stop caring about follower counts.
  • ScrollAway™ Pro: Disables your thumb for 6–8 hours.
  • CourseBuster™: Shocks you gently when you consider buying another "6-Figure Secret."
  • Zenitol™ : Blocks dopamine in the presence of hustle bro hashtags.
  • InfluencOff™: Emits a high-pitched sound when someone says "personal brand."

Side effects include inner peace, naps and liberation from the monetization cult.

Only 99.99 if purchased today. Just joking.

Closing Remarks From a Couch Philosopher

A man sitting on a couch in a dimly lit room, holding a cup of tea, with a city skyline outside the window glowing with neon signs reading "Fame" and "Success", while a black cat watches beside him.

You are not broken. You are over-stimulated, over-coached and under-napped.

You're not "falling behind". You're falling back into reality.

Let them hustle. Let them scale. Let them monetize their breakfast.

You? Sip something warm. Touch grass. Pet the cat. Reclaim your mind from the marketplace.

Evil, Ph.D.

Hustle Myth Coroner | Metric-Worship Critic | Unmoved by Your "Systems"

Or subscribe on Buttondown